


Tainted Love

by kenobabe



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Karaoke, Original planet, Singing, ahsoka gets blackmail for obi wan and anakin, negotiations gone wrong, obi wan and anakin singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23046616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenobabe/pseuds/kenobabe
Summary: Karaoke, drinking and Ahsoka's new found love for negotiations. Obi-wan and Anakin, accompanied by Ahsoka, are sent to handle negotiations on the planet Maldonado. However negotiations are done a little differently on this planet.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	Tainted Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my friend Theresa. While listening to Tainted Love we started getting an idea of what it would be like and what the circumstances would have to be for Obi-wan and Anakin to sing Karaoke.
> 
> The planet and Chaz are all mine. Anakin, Obi-wan, Ahsoka, Padme and all that other jazz is not mine. Credit to lucasfilms, disney, and not me.

“Finally, a civilized mission” Obi-wan said as he, Ahsoka and Anakin flew toward the planet of Maldonado.

“I’m sorry, Master Kenobi but negotiation missions do not excite me” Ahsoka sighed as she sat behind her Master and Obi-wan.

“Aw, Cheer up Snips. I hear the people of Maldonado are very friendly and know how to have a good time” Anakin smiled.

The next day Anakin and Obi-wan stumbled into Padme’s apartment with Ahsoka in tow. They had all agreed to have breakfast with Padme that morning to discuss the negotiations. However when Padme got a look at Anakin and Obi-wan she became worried.

“Anakin, Obi-wan. What happened?” Padme asked.

Obi-wan went to speak but he unattractively burped a bit then ran into the bathroom, closing the door. Ahsoka laughed and Padme looked at her “Does this have to do with the negotiations?”

Ahsoka nodded and Anakin decided he needed to speak. “So” he said as he took a seat at the table pinching the bridge of his nose. “We get to Maldonado and are greeted by their leader, Chaz Markson.”

Padme settles down to listen to the story and Ahsoka sits next to her, letting the story begin.

“General Kenobi! General Skywalker!” Chaz, a plump looking man with purple skin and black tattoo like marks on his skin says.

“Honorable Markson” Obi-wan says in his kind tone.

“Please, it’s Chaz. We are all friends here” Chaz says as he motions to the night sky around him. He then places his hands on Obi-wan and Anakin’s shoulders, standing between the two and leading them off.  
“Come Jedi! We start negotiations over a drink eh!”

Ahsoka following close behind, bored to tears already.

As they walk into the castle they hear loud music and voices. Obi-wan cocks an eyebrow at Anakin and he shrugs. They continue walking and enter a room with two large double doors. As they walk through they both freeze.

Set up at the front of the room is a Karaoke machine, with what looks like two Generals singing, and all around is lights flashing and people drinking.  
Chaz greets a few people as they walk through and go to a place that is set aside for him. It had a large semi-circle black couch and a small table in front of it. Obi-wan and Anakin took a seat with Chaz and what looked to be two other bodyguards. Ahsoka stood behind the seats and simply observed. They watched in horror as the two Generals belted out a song with lyrics no one could quite make out save for “Sweet Caroline”.

The waiter came over and was taking Chaz’s order when Obi-wan leaned to Anakin.  
“It’s rude not to drink all of the beverage you order here and it’s insulting not to order something. Try and get something small.”

Anakin nodded and they picked up a menu. Anakin didn’t know the language but the ounces were listed so he ordered a drink that sounded good with the smallest ounces. Obi-wan seemed to do the same.

However after a few moments the waiter brought back their drinks. Anakin and Obi-wan looked at one another in horror.  
Anakin’s drink was a wine glass shape with an umbrella in it only it was so big it had to be held with two hands. Obi-wan’s drink was brought to him and it was in a large frosted mug and was foaming at the top. Obi-wan also needed two hands to drink the beverage.

Ahsoka laughed as she sipped her water.

The negotiations went very well and they had reached an agreement with Chaz however their drinks had not finished and Obi-wan could see Chaz eyeing them with suspicion. Obi-wan and Anakin mustered their will and drank all their beverage.

Anakin pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs as he tells the story to Padme and Ahsoka.  
“Now, I’m not a terrible singer. My charm gets me by on a lot of things”

“Singer?!” Padme asks. Ahsoka just smiles and nods.

“Yeah, sooo… Obi-wan and I somehow ended up singing Karaoke. “ Anakin sighed.

Suddenly Obi-wan emerged from the bathroom “Somehow?” his voice angry. “You insisted! Don’t you remember. I believe your exact words were ‘Master, it would be rude to insult their cultural ways, as negotiators it is our responsibility to uphold the peaceful position’ after a plea like that I could hardly say no”

“Yeah but you picked Tainted love!” Anakin shouted and then instantly regretting doing so as he braced his hands on his head.

“It was the only song we both knew! What choice did I have?” Obi-wan responded loudly and Anakin put his finger to his lips asking him to quiet down.  
“So let me get this straight.” Padme smirked “During a diplomatic meeting you both got drunk and sang karaoke with a child present” she motioned to Ahsoka.

Obi-wan sighed and looked ashamed. Anakin had his palms over his eyes.

“I’m afraid so” Obi-wan said taking a seat next to Anakin.

Padme let out a laugh and then Ahsoka pulled a disk out of her pocket and slid it across the table to her  
“Don’t worry I got more copies….I also managed to film them telling each other how much they loved each other while I flew us home”

Ahsoka and Padme laughed out loud to one another. Obi-wan and Anakin grabbed their heads and groaned. Padme moved to her living room and put on the holovideo. Laughing as they watched Obi-wan and Anakin slur their words and stumble on one another.

Anakin looked over to Obi-wan. “You do have a lovely singing voice”

Obi-wan looked over to him “You do well on stage”

Ahsoka cleared her throat and they both looked up and saw her with her arms crossed smiling. They both smiled at her, Obi-wan shaking his head. Ahsoka then held out two pills for them.  
“Hangover pills. You should have seen the looks I got for buying these.”

“We owe you snips” anakin said taking the pill from her. All of a sudden they heard their own recorded voices belting out the chorus and Ahsoka smiled down at them.

“No, I think we’re good”

-Fin


End file.
